No one signs up for a season of suffering.
We imagine the breakthrough, the answered prayer, the fulfillment of our hopes, not the seasons that leave us wondering what just happened.
It reminds me of a year ago today when my late husband Josh woke up in the middle of the night having trouble breathing, and within minutes I found myself crying out to God to heal his body so he could live. It was more like scream praying to the Lord. It was a moment where my prayers were really a panicked grasp for control for an outcome that I thought needed to happen, was going to happen. Josh wasn’t going to die, of course not, that doesn’t happen to me, that’s not my story. But it did, and it was.
I’m not in control.
God is in control.
His ways are GOOD and HIGHER than ours. Even when we don’t understand.
I’ve also radically accepted as I’ve read a lot this week that… the only thing death can do to a believer is deliver them to Jesus.
I’ve also learned to live with eternity in mind, and not be so caught up in the blink-of-an-eye worries and weights of this world.
If we’re honest, we simply don’t get through life without suffering.
Maybe for you it was a health diagnosis, death, failed relationship, a financial hit, family turmoil, or a door you were sure God was going to open... that stayed shut. Maybe you’re just looking around at your life thinking, “This is not what I thought it would be.”
I’ve been there too. More than once. And I’ve learned…
It’s in these unwanted and unexpected places that we often come face to face with God in the most profound ways.
It’s easy to trust God when the path is smooth.
But what about when it isn’t? That’s where we see if we are reliant on self and our own capacity to control and understand or God’s.
When your prayers feel unanswered and your timeline seems off track, we realize self-reliance fails, is fleeting and is not the answer. God-dependance is required.
Take Joseph for example in Scripture.
He didn’t sign up to be betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused, or thrown into prison. None of that was part of the dream. And yet, there he was, in a foreign land, forgotten by the cupbearer, far from the promise he once believed.
It looked like a series of detours and anything but a divine plan & purpose. But Joseph continued to put his trust and confidence in God, continuing to follow Him day in and day out.
In the end, when God raised him up, Joseph looked at his brothers and said,
“You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good.” (Genesis 50:20)
What was unwanted and unexpected became holy, set apart for God’s purposes.
So I’ve been thinking… What if these unwanted seasons are not detours but altars?
I love how Elisabeth Elliot wrote it:
“Waiting on God requires the willingness to bear uncertainty, to carry within oneself the unanswered question, lifting the heart to God about it whenever it intrudes upon one’s thoughts.”
Sometimes we cannot will our way out of wilderness seasons. But what we can do is bring fresh surrender to the altar and wait on the Lord.
What if seasons of waiting aren’t delays but invitations to trust deeper, to see differently, and to let go of outcomes so we can hold on to God?
At the end of the day, outcomes aren’t ours to own, but obedience is.
I’m learning that our faith doesn’t grow when everything works out. It grows when we keep walking even when it doesn’t. This isn’t the end. It’s just the middle. And in the middle, you don’t have to have it all figured out. You just need to stay close to the One who does.
The One who was with Joseph in the pit.
Who walked with him through the prison.
And who positioned him in the palace, not a moment too soon or too late.
God’s not panicking. He’s not late. He’s not done.
Allow that to encourage you today.
Also a PS thought…
It’s interesting walking about throughout your day in spaces where no one around you knows what the day actually signifies.
And it made me think— it’s so important to always treat people with all of the love, care and intentionality that we can muster, because we truly have no idea what they might be walking through.
Your interaction with them could be the greatest blessing, or simply the worst.
Thankfully today for me, they were amazing. The waitress at lunch even upgraded my fish & chips to the deluxe french fries.
Love you guys— always here to share what I’m walking through with Jesus for your encouragement and His glory.
Love,
Ashley